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21/5/09

y si Dios hubiera credo el mundo con ordenadores


Te has preguntado alguna vez que pasaría si Dios usara ordenadores, ¿Cómo habría sido todo? Pues bien, aquí estamos nosotros para explicarte como habría sido la creación de la vida en la Tierra si Dios hubiese dispuesto de un ordenador para realizar dicha tarea. esta en ingles, lo traduje una vez, pero no tiene chiste en espaniol asi que aqui va
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Génesis, capítulo 1, versículo primero:
In the beginning there was the Computer.
And God said
C:\>LET THERE BE LIGHT!
Enter user-id.
C:\>GOD
Enter password.
C:\>OMNISCIENT
Password incorrect. Try again.C:\>OMNIPOTENT
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:\>TECHNOCRAT
And God logged on at 00:00:01 day 1.
C:\>LET THERE BE LIGHT!
Unrecognisable command. Try again.
C:\>CREATE LIGHT
Done
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
And God created Day and Night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:01:00 day 1.
And God logged on at 00:00:01 day 2.
C:\>LET THERE BE FIRMAMENT IN THE MIDST OF WATER AND LIGHT
Unrecognisable command. Try again..
C:\>CREATE FIRMAMENT
Done.
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00 day 2.
And God logged on at 00:00:01 day 3.
C:\>LET THE WATERS UNDER HEAVEN BE GATHERED TOGETHER UNTO ONE PLACE AND LET THE DRY LAND APPEAR
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
C:\>CREATE DRY_LAND
Done.
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
C:\>LET THE EARTH PRODUCE FRESH GROWTH LET THERE BE ON THE EARTH PLANTS
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
C:\>CREATE PLANTS
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
So it was; the Earth yielded fresh growth plants bearing seed. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00 day 3.
And God logged on at 00:00:01 day 4.
C:\>CREATE LIGHTS IN THE FIRMAMENT TO DIVIDE THE DAY FROM THE NIGHT
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>CREATE SUN_MOON_STARS
Done
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
These lights governed day and night and separated light from darkness. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00 day 4.
And God logged on at 00:00:01 day 5.
C:\>CREATE FISH
Done
C:\>CREATE FOWL
Done
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 00:02:00 day 5.
And God logged on at 00:00:01 day 6.
C:\>CREATE CATTLE
Done
C:\>CREATE CREEPY_THINGS
Done
C:\>RUN HEAVEN AND EARTH
C:\>NOW LET US MAKE MAN IN OUR IMAGE
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\>CREATE MAN
Done
C:\>BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY AND REPLENISH THE EARTH AND SUBDUE IT AND HAVE DOMINION OVER THE FISH OF THE SEA AND OVER THE FOWL OF THE AIR AND OVER EVERY LIVING THING THAT CREEPETH UPON THE EARTH
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\>RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
C:\>INSERT BREATH
Done
C:\>RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\>MOVE MAN TO GARDEN OF EDEN
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
C:\>CREATE GARDEN.EDN
Done
C:\>MOVE MAN TO GARDEN.EDN
Done
C:\>RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\>COPY WOMAN FROM MAN
Done
C:\>RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 3 errors.
C:\>CREATE DESIRE
Done
C:\>RUN MULTIPLICATION
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\>CREATE FREEWILL
Done
C:\>RUN FREEWILL
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit set. 1 errors.
C:\>UNDO DESIRE
Desire cannot be undone. File may be in use by Freewill.
C:\>DELETE FREEWILL
Freewill cannot be deleted. it may be a hidden or system file or may be in use.
Enter replacement cancel or ask for help.
C:\>HELP
Desire cannot be undone. File may be in use by Freewill.
Freewill cannot be deleted. it may be a hidden or system file or may be in use.
Try again cancel or quit program.
Try again
Try again cancel or quit program.
cancel
Try again cancel or quit program.
quit
Try again cancel or quit program.
C:\>CREATE TREE_OF_KNOWLEDGE
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit set. 1 errors.
C:\>CREATE GOOD EVIL
Done
C:\>ACTIVATE EVIL
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error. Missing or corrupt file: Man and Woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\>SCAN GARDEN.EDN FOR MAN WOMAN
Search failed.
C:\>DELETE SHAME
Shame cannot be deleted. File may be in use by Freewill.
C:\>DELETE FREEWILL
Freewill cannot be deleted. it may be a hidden or system file or may be in use.
Enter replacement cancel or ask for help.
C:\>STOP
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\>BREAK
C:\>BREAK
C:\>BREAK
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR MAINTENANCE IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:\>CREATE NEW WORLD
You have exceeded your allocated file space.
You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
C:\>DESTROY EARTH
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.
SERVICES WILL RESUME day 8 AT 00:00:00
YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 23:59:59 day 6.
And God rested.

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